


Stars

by AbyssianSoul, AnxiouslyDreaming



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Best Friends, Insecure Marco, Insecurity, JeanMarco Week '13, M/M, Mild Language, Precious Jean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbyssianSoul/pseuds/AbyssianSoul, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiouslyDreaming/pseuds/AnxiouslyDreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco receives a comment that causes him to question himself. Jean (eventually) knows exactly what to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars

The sky was blue without a cloud to be seen, air crisp with the sun shining brightly. One could even hear birds chirping near the forest.

It was what Marco Bodt would call a glorious morning. After the run at sunup, his expression mirrored the day, vivid and clear, a smile lighting his freckled features, even as he bent over to breath. He raised his arms above his head and tried to steady his air flow, having pushed himself pretty far on the last stretch and acquired one of those tricky side pains.

The sounds of retching filled the air and he turned around, immediately rushing to the side of a petite brunette girl. He watched worriedly as he murmured soothing sounds and rubbed her back, holding her hair.

This had been happening a lot with Ema; Marco was beginning to worry that her body just couldn’t take the training the military was putting them through.

A couple of the other trainees dashed over while she was recovering, Marco recognizing them as some of her closer friends.

“You okay Em?” The boy, Arthur, asked with fervent concern.

Millie, a girl from the same town as Ema, set a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah…I’m okay. I’m sorry Marco…thanks…” The girl smiled up at him, her face red and not enough sweat on her brow. She sent a thankful look at Millie and coughed a couple times.

“Of course, don’t apologize!” Marco added, eyes crinkling in a grin, “Here, have some water, you need to stay hydrated.”

She sighed and with a worried smile accepted his water skin, “You’re too nice, Marco…”

The boy laughed softly, scratching the back of his head as she dribbled some water into her mouth, “I don’t know about that.”

“It’s true, you’re always smiling and helping everyone,” Ema titled her head and wiped her lips, handing the skin back to him. “Thank you.”

Marco beamed, shaking his head, “Thank _you_ for pushing yourself so hard. You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others.”

Ema blushed, eyes widening, “R-really?”

“Of course!”

Arthur rolled his eyes, “Marco, that’s a bit much.”

Millie looked at him and gave a quick shake of her head, strawberry blonde ponytail flicking disapprovingly, “Arthur…”

“What? It’s true. We all know she’s killing herself, and telling her that pushing is _good_ is just going to make it happen faster!” Arthur stared at Marco, “You may act like a saint, but I bet you’re just trying to get people to drop out so you have a better chance of getting into the Military Police!”

Silence reigned for a good twenty seconds, both girls seeming completely mortified.

Marco’s eyes widened, blinking a couple times with his mouth open in a dumbfounded expression. In seconds, his face carefully shifted back into a smile, a blatantly hurt one, but a smile all the same.

“I’m sorry you feel that way...” He sighed, “But you are incredibly wrong. I would never risk a person’s safety to advance myself. Ema’s spirit is indeed inspiring. I trust her and our instructors to know what her limits are.”

Arthur just stared at him, glancing at Ema, looking angry before he turned back to Marco, “You’re always so damned happy. It’s weird. We’re training to fight Titans. Don’t you know what they _do_?”

Marco shook his head, smiling benignly, tone gently sarcastic, “No, I don’t.” He leveled a rather chilly stare at the boy, “That is a strange question to ask any of us. It isn’t helpful for me to be sad or scared all the time.”

A brief pause.

“Also.”

Three pairs of eyes went to Marco. He smiled pleasantly.

“I will get into the top ten without resorting to dirty tricks.”

His eyes warmed and he set a hand on Ema’s shoulder, “Take care of yourself. I’ll see you guys later!”

His smile faded a bit as he turned away and walked toward the barracks. He forced his gaze to the sky, and allowed his lips to curl again.

 

Days passed, Ema collapsed during combat training, and Marco watched the instructor speak with her. He wondered what they would do. Would there be a way to let her into the Garrison…or perhaps the Training Corps as an instructor?

He decided to ask Instructor Shadis about it personally later.

Something else was weighing on his mind. It occupied him through most of the late night run he and Jean were taking that night. He sighed as they collapsed near their quarters, staring at the ground for a moment as he drank some water.

“Hey…Jean?”

Jean was leant back on one hand, feet flat on the ground and knees drawn up as he took a generous swig from his own water skin. The fatigue from a long day’s training was apparent, more noticeably written on Jean’s face than Marco’s.

Even in his labored attempts to collect himself, Marco’s questioning tone still managed to shake Jean from his determined reverie. The sandy haired boy quickly lofted an interested eyebrow in Marco’s direction with a sidelong glance, eyes still burning with the intensity of his workout and cheeks full of water, far too eager and excited to acknowledge the mild inquiry to even bother swallowing.

“Mmm?”

Marco turned his eyes to him and opened his mouth, but smiled first. He couldn’t help it. Just the way Jean sat there, so focused and ardent, but so adorably childlike; it sent a tender, warm sensation rushing through his limbs and surrounded his heart in a blanket of comfort.

He normally would have left it there, would have allowed just being with his friend to soothe him. But the thought had been persistent, and he worried about it for its capacity to hurt others.

“…Am I…” He took a deep breath, looking up at the dark sky with its twinkling stars, façade uncharacteristically troubled, “Am I…too happy? Do I seem…fake?”

Hazel eyes looked more grey in the dim light as he turned his gaze back to Jean, clearly genuinely concerned.

As Marco began to speak, Jean worriedly followed his gaze up to the sky, as though he were seeing something Jean couldn’t—which wasn’t all that uncommon, truth be told. But as the freckled boy finished his thought, Jean was mid-swallow and a series of choking coughs and sputters came wheezing from him, the sheer absurdity of the suggestion causing his water to travel down the wrong pipe.

“That’s a good one,” Jean managed hoarsely as he beat on his chest with one fist, completely oblivious to the serious nature of the question until he turned and caught a glimpse of Marco’s demeanor.

Was he...? Jean’s eyebrows slowly knit together in earnest apology and he leaned closer to Marco, for the first time sensing honest to God self-doubt radiating from his dear friend.

“Oh. No. No, no. I just meant…” He trailed off, gesturing toward Marco as if it were the simplest truth in the world. “You can’t be serious. You know how rare you are. Don’t you?”

Marco’s lips were curled with appreciation of Jean’s disbelief, but tempered with discomfort at the idea, “Isn’t rare similar to odd or weird?”

The boy rubbed the back of his head; it was a habit he’d picked up when he’d cut his hair so short for the military. His little sister had enjoyed the texture of his undercut. Regardless of how strange it was, it had made him feel a little less alone in the beginning of training.

He chuckled humorlessly, broad shoulders slumped, “The last thing I want is for people to think I’m not sincere…”

Jean worried his lip at the query, unable to stop scrutinizing Marco’s unease. He’d always sought out an opportunity to reassure Marco of /something/, to return his unwavering kindness, to instill that same conviction that was so selflessly given to him right back into his friend. But Marco always seemed so sure of himself.

His current state was disarming to say the least and suddenly Jean became hyperaware of the fact that he was fixing Marco with a quizzical stare. It was all eyebrows and could’ve been mistaken for anger if the other wasn’t already so comfortable with Jean’s intensity, but he nonetheless lowered his gaze to the earth.

“You really have no idea, do you?” Jean muttered, more to himself than Marco, thought processes firing on every cylinder, frantically clambering for anything to say that resembled intelligence.

“Ah!” Jean suddenly sat up ramrod straight and grinned as the light bulb went off. He gave Marco a playful thwack on the shoulder, some combination of signaling his success and garnering the boy’s attention.

“You see the stars. Right?” Jean nodded up in the general direction of the clear, darkened sky that the both of them had just been reflecting on without a second thought.

“They all look the same. Most of them are pretty boring. Probably useless, too. Stupid. I can’t tell that one from that one or that one from that one,” he continued with a smug look of disgust, lazily jabbing two fingers at any given spot across the vast expanse above them.

Marco glanced at his friend after a moment, catching his expression before he turned his eyes to the ground. He couldn’t help close his eyes and smile at the easy bubble of warmth in his chest. Never had he felt so utterly at ease just by being with someone. For one usually so adept with words, Marco couldn’t quite describe it yet.

He jumped slightly, eyes snapping open as the object of his thoughts slapped at his shoulder. Marco felt his face melt into a cheesy smile as he saw the grin on the other’s face.

As he spoke of the stars, Marco tilted his head back to look at them, flitting his eyes back to Jean momentarily, eyebrows raised but still smiling, “I’m sure there are people who can. Tell the difference, that is~” He chuckled a bit, a teasing shine to his eyes, lips curling into more of a smirk.

“But yes, alright, stars are similar…?” He leaned a bit closer to him, as if to follow his finger’s direction and encourage him to continue.

Jean’s expression fell momentarily, his mouth tightening into a small shape usually associated with being caught off guard. His eyes flitted to Marco, hands still outstretched, witnessing him leaning in his direction.

“Well, yeah.” He dropped his hands, rubbing at his neck and tilting his head in a way that both thanked Marco for making the observation and subtly begged for him to make the connection. “Some people can tell the difference…”

“Anyway.” Jean snapped out of it, steeling his determination again and clearing his throat, directing his focus back to the sky. “Do you see that one riiiiight there? You can’t miss it.”

He narrowed his eyes, pointing at a most prominently twinkling star, shimmering, brilliant and silvery. As Jean asked, he found himself leaning over even closer, as though he were trying to see it from Marco’s perspective. He leant a bit too far and their cheeks pressed together, Jean’s promptly burning.

“That one’s…pretty…rare. I mean, it’s got a lot going on.” Really? Jean’s eyes slammed shut for a second. This went so much more eloquently in his head.

“It’s brighter than the rest of the shitty stars. They’re all probably jealous. That star is lighting someone’s way home right now. I guarantee it. If that star didn’t shine brighter than the rest of them, I’d be totally lost.”

It was all Jean could do to not dump the contents of his water skin over his head and attempt to drown himself at that last small slip-up. Paralyzed, he continued, only half as confident as before.

“Uh. I don’t see any other stars like that one,” Jean mumbled sheepishly in conclusion, still pointing but his wide eyes darting away. “There’s no such thing as being too positive in such a dark world.”

The heat of Jean’s cheek against his threatened to overtake his thoughts, yet Jean’s sincere words pulled him to stare up at the sky. The star Jean indicated was indeed the brightest, twinkling like a gem.

Marco had understood Jean’s connection the second Jean had been so suddenly struck with an idea. Though he wasn’t entirely sure he agreed with it, Marco giggled slightly at the sweetly stumbling way he talked about it.

His heart stuttered as he spoke of how the other stars might be jealous. Then he took in a deep breath, his eyes crinkled in a soft smile as he listened to his ‘slip-up’. He slowly pressed his shoulder closer to wordlessly tell him that it wasn’t a slip-up, but the opposite. Adorable, honest and so very Jean.

Marco took a deep, shaky breath at his last words. Fighting tears of relief and perhaps joy, he reached silently for Jean’s hand, entwining his fingers with his.

“Thank you, Jean.” He shifted a bit to rest his head on his shoulder, “You’re really…a thoughtful person.”

In his heart of hearts, Jean wished he could look over at Marco in this moment. He wasn’t sure what he thought might happen—his cheeks spontaneously bursting into flames, his chest caving in, his pulse growing loud enough to be audible to others—all of these sounded plausible but not feasible.

And then the sound of Marco’s small laughter in the empty evening air rang truer than anything he’d heard before and Jean knew to expect that hand lacing with his before it even happened. The grateful contact worked up impulsive nerve all on its own and Jean turned his head to face the one bowed against him, hiding himself in the top of Marco’s hair and squeezing his palm with acknowledgment.

“Yeah. You tell me that a lot.”

After a beat of the most comfortable silence either of them have probably ever endured, Jean spoke into that soft hair quietly, the unspoken poignancy of the moment flying right over his head as usual.

“….I was talking about you, you know.”

Marco just chuckled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you my wonderful, perfect Jean (user undeadunfed on tumblr) who I will make a co-author when it's possible. <3


End file.
